My Story

Blogging in the Era of Corona

I deliberately let this blog drop over the past few months. I haven’t been feeling very talkative, and every time I tried to write I would just end up with a half-finished draft that never got posted. So finally I made a conscious decision to let it go. It didn’t fit with my new, extroverted, highly active and social life and I didn’t have the time and attention for it.

The universe seems to find this funny since now I, like everyone else on earth, have time on my hands, nowhere to go, and a newly introverted setup. I’m delving back into the pleasures of introversion, although perhaps the “back” in that sentence is off–when I was more introverted in the past, it was always linked to my depression and poor self-image. Now I would not describe myself as depressed and my self-image continues to steadily improve, so I guess I need to reinvent/reexplore introversion. Maybe this time it will actually be a “pleasure”?

For the first week of this new world order, I fretted. I chafed. I complained about being lonely, horny, missing people and human touch, etc etc etc. Basically I whined and acted like a toddler. Then I had a revelation–not only do I have it damned good right now, with a very stable, salaried job, a beautiful home, and a wonderful husband to nest with, but I have been exhausted and overwhelmed at work for months and now I am basically getting a free paid leave (or maybe it would be better to say full pay and half hours). I have time to exercise (although I can’t swim, which is my favorite kind, because all the pools are shut down), time to eat mindfully, time to really engage with my body. I have time to write, read, and think. So maybe, just maybe, I can convince myself to stop acting like a child about it and actually use that time as I have been claiming to need to.

Now to actually do it. That’s the hard part. This came slowly to my home area, so I’m only about 10 days in to social distancing, less to real isolation. In that time I have had only brief windows of productivity. Less and less exercise since the last pool closed, and my eating is definitely not prospering. I am concerned, like everyone around me, about letting myself go during this time, although I refuse to worry about gaining weight per se.

So here’s my resolution–

  • Blog every day,
  • Get dressed properly every day and post a nice pic on insta every day,
  • Exercise 3-6 times per week, even if it’s just chair yoga,
  • Be mindful of what, how, and when I eat, and
  • Not give up on work entirely but also not go crazy trying to keep up from home.

I hope all of you out there are well and staying safe. I have been touched and impressed by the ways humanity pulls together in times of crisis, and I hope you are experiencing the same.

By Michelle

I am on a journey to body liberation and self love. Being fat, either superfat or infinifat depending on the day, and in my forties, there isn't a lot of visibility of people like me. Sharing my story as I try to figure things out.

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